Culture Shock!!

I know we all like our own routines, wake-up, get dressed, and so on. Would you change that routine for a chance to get to go to a different country? That would mean you would have to learn the language, eat thier food, and dress the way they do. Is it worth the experience? I say maybe..I love other cultures, but theres one big problem! I am soo picky that I would never be able to last one meal in another country! Especially Asian countries! I have nothing against thier traditions, it is just that I have one thing very dear to me, one including my stomach. I don't LOVE food, but I would LOVE that when I do eat, that it is something I enjoy. Would you skip a chance to go to a different country just beacause of thier foods?

Therapy~ Worth it or not?

Since my parents are divorced, I have been to MANY counselors and therapists. Not that I needed them..haha..but because I was basically forced to. I went to many when I was younger, now that I am 13, I am visiting 2 different ones. One that I have seen since I was 9. (This is mandatory that I see her, she is my parents' Parent Coordinator's therapist) The other one, I am being forced to see by the Oklahoma Court System to "mend my relationship with Charlotte (my mom)" Since I have no relationship with her at all, I see no reason to go. Also, since my dad makes a LOT more money than Charlotte does, he has to pay 77% of everything. She only has to pay 23%!!! I'm getting my braces in 1 month and it costs around $5,350. He has to pay $4,119 of that. It is totally not fair! Also, he is still paying alimony and he just got child support to stop, so she is still getting a lot of money from him. Well, back to the therapy, I think that paying for someone to say "And how do you feel about that?" is a waste of hard earned money, especially when it doesn't work!! I would have to say that therapy is not worth it, in my case.

Obsessed!!!???

Again with my parents divorce, I think it has had a HUGE emotional toll on me. Although I never show my feelings to my family, I know it has. If you have read my previous posts, you would know that one of the things (emotionally) that has changed about me is my relationships with adults. What I am trying to do is replace my mothers love, well I have found something else that it "wrong" with me. I get obsessed with things very ,very easily. I don't get it! It is almost as if I make "special" bonds with TV shows. I make connections with the characters, almost as if they are part of my family. I can no help it!! My friends think I'm weird for doing it, but none of them get it. The TV show that i have recently been addicted to would be The Nanny. Immediately, I feel in love with the character of Fran Fine. Her voice, her clothes, her overall personality!! That got me interested in Fran Drescher, who plays Fran Fine. Now I'm obsessed with Fran Drescher..I love her! I know everything about her now. I feel like I'm some kind of freak!! It's almost as if my brain thinks of her as my mother! I have dreams with her in them all the time, and it's getting old. I don't know how to stop being obsessed with her, her TV show, or anything else that I get obsessed over these days!! I am sooo OBSESSED!!!!

Problems with Love?

I know this sounds weird, but it seems that I make strong emotional relationships with adults. Most of the time it is with women. I think i am trying to replace my mother's (lack) of love. Since my mom was abusive and didn't love me, I try to get other adult women to love me..replacing the love that my mom still hasn't shown me. Even if that particular woman doesn't that I'm trying to do that..I almost have a mother-to-daughter with some of my teachers. Sometimes I even have dreams about my teachers or celeberties being my mom. (i make the same connections with celeberities that i do with my teachers, even if i have never meet them) I feel as if I'm going crazy trying to replace love that was lost because I know for a teenage girl, love from her mother is important. Although I have a step-mom, that I call mom, it doesn't feel the same. I love my mom (step-mom) sooo much and i would never want to loose her, but I can't get rid of this feeling!! Do I have problems with love?